TOADAL RECALL

It is time you have considered a creature who, with undue human intercession, technological help, and financial aid, has flouted the threat of extinction to its species. It is the stouthearted account of the Houston Toad (bufo houstonesnsis), who has been considered an endangered species for over twenty years. It is well-documented that the largest community of the Houston Toad is located in Bastrop State Park, west of Houston, TX and east of Austin, TX.

There is a particular swamp-like body of water which, in 1990, could only be navigated by car on a winding, single-lane, and poorly-paved thoroughfare. It traversed 15 miles of swamp with about 24 miles of road, owing to how far the road meandered to and fro. It so happens this specific slough was also the largest social community for the Houston Toads, which needfully involved a lot of intimate toad-on-toad breeding, as was the style of the times. Most motorists, inconvenienced by the impracticality of the swamp road would sometimes take the main highway south around the swamp, go west, and then north again to end on the opposite side some 70 miles later. Eventually, some activists realized that 1.) those motorists using the swamp road were creating high levels of exhaust and pollution in the park, owing to the frequent stops and accelerations such an unecessarily curvy road would produce; and 2.) to circumnavigate the swamp by going south-west-north was also causing high emissions, once they figured this practice involved having to travel more than four times the distance than was necessary.

The group eventually decided it would be more efficient and safer to the environment to build a four-lane highway across the swamp where, at a moderate speed, conditions conducive to the least amount of pollution would exist. TxDOT (Texas Department of Transportation) was called upon who filled in the span with top-quality earth and created the highway as a sort of dam separating the two sides of the swamp (it is unclear why they did not construct a bridge instead). Before long, the same environmental group who advocated the construction of the bridge, coupled with a wildlife organization who surveils the welfare of endangered species, began a toad vigil of the newly-constructed highway. Here, the madness begins.

The groups noticed the mortality rate of the toads was escalating rapidly because the toads were lazily trying to cross the highway (ala Frogger) to meet up with their friends and lovers on the opposing side. Horrified, these groups complain to the state government who, in turn, pays TxDOT to further remedy the situation by constructing some 28,000 feet worth of 10-inch high “toad barriers” to prevent the little guys from getting squashed.

The groups return to monitor the conditions after the “toad barriers” are in place. Foolishly, it seems no one bothered to test a vertical on the HT because, being quite the prolific leapers frogs naturally are, they were making short work of the 10-inch high barriers. The animal and environmental groups soon return and complain once more that the “toad barriers” are too short and they need to be heightened. So TxDOT is paid to go back and construct 16-inch high “toad barriers.”

After the new and higher fences are in place, the HT can no longer compromise them, and the groups feel temporarily pacified. However, some extended research showed that the HT’s social and sexual activity was dwindling. The groups figure the dichotomy of the swamp has spawned (pun) these unsettling figures. Once again, they argue before the state government and complain about the increasing depression rate of the toads and demand fast action. Alas, TxDOT is summoned to correct the problem, yet again. They are paid to construct a series of “toad tunnels” for the little guys to freely go back and forth as they please--to mate and so forth. With these little toad love tunnels in place, everybody is bound to be happy, right?

The groups begin scrutinizing the behavior of the HT now they have access to either side of the marsh via the “toad tunnels.” However, the observers notice the HT will not use the tunnels and the groups determine the reason is because the tunnels are too long and if the HT cannot see a light from the other side, they would assume just stay away from the tunnels all together. Another litigation process begins and the groups demand this problem be speedily rectified. TxDOT once more is called in to reinforce the highway and open the median so sunlight can penetrate the tunnels. Sunlight now filters through the open divide and provides adequate light to illuminate the entire length of the “toad tunnels.”

The groups revisit to see the new sky lights have had a positive effect--the toads begin utilizing the tunnels. However, some of the toads were getting confused and made their way up the sky light, back onto the road where--as in the very first scenario--they were getting served by passing vehicles. Alas, the groups appeal to the state authority again and demand swift action. TxDOT, who by this point is very amused and well-compensated by residual contract work, is paid to construct interior 16-inch high “toad barriers” to amend this problem.

After several months and more than $100,000 taxpayer dollars later, the animal and environmental groups are finally satisfied by a series of corrections to a problem they helped create in the first place. The last and final drawback was that enterprising snakes noticed the correlation between tunnel and toad and began staking out at either end, helping themselves to a toad buffet. It is unclear whether the groups attempted to act on this, but as of the present day, the snakes continue to be going on with their business.

Was the preservation of the nondescript Houston Toad worth all the time and money?

I think so.