DREWISM #612: I BREAK FOR AMPHIBIANS!
Here in the bucolic splendor that is Longview, Texas, we had what I would refer to as a torrential deluge this morning. Boy, I don't mind telling you that I didn't see it coming, either. When I left this morning, the October sky was meshed with hues of bright pink and... well, sky blue.
So I find myself scrambling across campus, umbrella-less and wearing sandals. And if this lack-of-prescience self-inflicting misery was not enough for me to deal with, I was further slowed considerably by these conditions and about 5 minutes late for class.
It is raining so hearilty I must keep wiping the run-off out of my eyes, that I can barely see. My feet are near frozen and my pant legs are soaking up the water like so many sponges. Just then, when I was positive I could not be more discomforted, a little frog leaps out from beyond some lengthy grass--directly in my line of walkage.
THE PRINCIPLE OF THE SNAP REACTION
It's funny how when one is forced to react to small and trivial situations, it seems he will, in turn, always pick the least logical action. Opposed to serving that frog with the underside of my size 11's, as was his destiny, I checked my forthcoming step (in sandals mind you) when my planted foot turned and slipped out from under me. Down I came in a very Gulliver-esque fashion, descending on the long wet grass and mud, the rain still beating heavily all around.
I lay there, the whole of my clothes replete with water and mud, I saw the frog take another hop, and another, and another... off to amphimbiatic freedom.
What the heck, man?
To make things slightly more humorous and ironic, I arrived at my class some six minutes later, only to find it had been cancelled.
Monday, October 04, 2004
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To further reinforce my PRINCIPLE OF THE SNAP REACTION, I point to an example that happened a couple of weeks ago. I left my apartment in the morning with my styro of coffee in hand. As per my routine, I placed the coffee atop the car, while heaving my 50 lb. backpack into the car. This particular morning, I must have chucked it in particularly forcefully which, in turn, caused my coffee cup to fall off the car. According to my PRINCIPLE OF THE SNAP REACTION I chose the least logical of (in this case) two actions. Opposed to letting the coffee fall to the ground which would only cause me the loss of the coffee, I reached out and tried to grab a styrofoam cup full of steaming liquid falling toward the earth. Instead, stained khaki pants and a scalded arm were my reward.
I've said it once, and I'll say it again... yay for frogblogs!!
I'm afraid I'm all too familiar with this "Snap Reaction" you speak of. Because of it, I've been stabbed, shocked, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned. Every day I wake up without a scratch on me, not a dent in the fender.
I'm an immortal!
Why are these frogs better suited to this lousy Smarch weather? And must they rub it in our faces? Don't think that little guy wasn't laughing at you as he hopped away, embracing his amphimbiatic freedom.
Not to laugh at your misfortune,....Well, yeah. Ohh Drew! I am happy that in those brief milli-moments of the snap reaction, it was in you to chose life over death. I know it was a frog, but deep down inside man, you love life. The elephantine guilt that ensues all acts of premeditated froggie foul play is more than any man should have to carry. I applaud the deepest places in the three pound universe that is your mind. You have made a giant leap into understanding.
As for the coffee incident......Dumb ass.
Also, I am delighted to see the Pussy Cat Party Hat Pictures. Way to take initiative and get involved.
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