D'oh!

Even months later, still recovering from the blow of Cowher's resignation from Pittsburgh, I was enjoying a cup of Sumatra at Starbucks when, upon reading updates on the NFL free agency in the Dallas Morning News, I did a classic sitcom spit take as a reaction to the line:

"Joey Porter signs with Miami Dolphins."

My coffee suddenly tasted exceptionally bitter...but in a bad way.

Unarguably the heart-and-soul of the Steelers' front seven, I assumed Porter would have been the cornerstone on which new coach and former Minnesota Vikings defensive coordinator Mike Tomlin would want to build the defense around. I'm wary of his optimism, so I hope he's prepared to pull a rather sizable rabbit out of his hat. With an already impressive run defense, I thought the Steelers would be on their way to attaining an all-time National Football League record of allowing only 75 rushing yards this season.

My dreams of the most impenetrable defense in league history has been shattered like so much lamp on scalp.

And in case you haven't cared to pay any attention during the last 27 days of free agency signing eligibility, it has been rife with activity:

• In some crazy, cross-team RB shuffling, Willis McGahee trash-talks the city of Buffalo and goes to Baltimore Ravens, where former RB Jamaal Lewis moves to Cleveland Browns, where former RB Reuben Droughns goes to New York Giants.
  
• Travis Henry (TEN), Brandon Stokley (IND), and Daniel Graham (NE) all go to Denver Broncos.
  
• Tatum Bell (DEN) goes to Detroit Lions and recently ousted Jake "the Snake" Plummer (DEN) moves to Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
  
• Ahman Green (GB) will play for the Houston Texans!
  
• Nick Harper (Indianapolis CB who was famously on the business end of Roethlisberger's 2006 AFC Championship game-saving tackle) goes to Tennessee Titans and wishy-washy RB Dominic Rhodes (IND) goes to Oakland Raiders.
  
• Wes Welker and Randy McMichael both leave Miami for New England Patriots and St. Louis Rams, respectively.
  
• After a short stop-over in Philadelphia, Donte' Stallworth goes to New England Patriots.
  
• Thomas Jones leaves defeated Super Bowl contestants Chicago Bears and will now adorn a New York Jets' jersey.
  
• Tully Banta-Cain (NE) going to San Fransisco 49ers.
  
• "Old Man River" Joe Horn (NO) signs with Atlanta Falcons.
  
• I suppose Minnesota CB Fred Smoot's move to Washington Redskins deserves mention here.
  
• Kevin Curtis (StL) and Takeo Spikes (BUF) both move to Philadelphia Eagles.