Screenplay by: Helen Fielding & Nicholas Sparks
Produced by: Jerry Bruckheimer
Directed by: Joel Schumacher
Starring: Tracy Ullman (as Elisa Appleby), Hugh Grant, Michael Caine, and John Cleese (as Master Butler Henri Blake Carrington IV)
Though the Bruckheimer empire has attempted to keep this project behind closed doors, the added star power could not have the news bundled up for long. Local British tabloids are now reporting additional cameos by Kathy Griffin, Ice Cube, John Ratzenberger, and Queen Latifah.
However, a bit of a dark cloud has halted production as early as last week, when Columbia Pictures filed a class-action law suit against Bruckheimer and his cronies on grounds that this cinematic travesty is a blatant plagairization of the 1993 classic, “Remains of the Day.”
When director Joel Schumacher was recently questioned about the litigation, he replied, “Man, there’s no plagiarism here. Have you ever even seen ‘Remains of the Day?’ Man, that’s a boring movie, man.”
Though the original 2004 film, “You Got Served” left a majority of American movie-goers befuddled, Bruckheimer is of the opinion that a British adaptation will sit well with U.K. audiences. However, such an enormous cross-cultural overhaul called for several sacrifices which some believe compromise the integrity of the original film. One of such sacrifices was a call for the removal of every African-American character from the story. Furthermore, the storyline--which originally detailed the account of a group of low socioeconomic street thugs who form a traveling pop-dance troupe to honor the memory of a deceased school janitor--has also been scrapped.
An early draft of the closing scene has been circulated around the press corps and, upon further inspection by Johnny Cochran, has been described as having “a high probability of being not spurious.”
The contents of that ciruclation have been reproduced here:
INT. WADSWORTH HALL - SUNSET
As the dying sunlight filters through the 20 ft. high arching windows, the remaining servants continue to clean up after Master Ropenthall’s most recent party. Captain of the Maids, Elisa Appleby is visibly worn thin. She struggles against tears as she wipes down the grand cherry oak table with her dust cloth. At length, she slumps into one of the high-backed chairs and breaks into a gentle sob. Presently, Master of the Butlers, Henri Blake Carrington IV approaches her.
HENRI: Elisa! Good God, woman. What is the meaning of this emotional tirade? Oh, but if Master Ropenthall sees you in this panicked state.
ELISA: Henri, I... I won’t be going on like this for long. Please leave me with the solitary ounce of dignity I’ve managed to preserve over the years.
HENRI: (pensive) It has been quite the honorable tenure here at Wadsworth Manor, hasn’t it?
ELISA: Henri, about Master Ropenthall’s congress this afternoon-- do you ever get the feeling he’s--well, that he’s a... a...
HENRI: A communist? Yes, I’ve expected as much.
ELISA: What? You’ve known? For how long?
HENRI: I first suspected something when he had that up-and-coming rambunctious lad stay in the Guest Commons for a fortnight last Fall. Joseph Stalin, I believe his name was.
ELISA: Henri, I fear I shan’t be serving at Wadsworth Hall any further come Spring. I daresay you would be wise to follow my lead.
HENRI: That’s just peachy for you, Ms. Appleby, but the noble butler lineage is in my blood. My father served here, as well as his father, and his father’s father before him.
ELISA: Henri, I’m just--just so very tired. After Timmy died in that hunting accident, I clung to this job for pity. Now that I need not be concerned with his tuition fees for Oxford, I have no will to go on. For just once in my life, I want someone to wait on me! Someone to be at my every beckon call!
[Henri rolls up his sleeves with a frustrated demeanor now adorning his face. He begins with an awkward gait beside the length of the Great Table. Elisa calls after him:]
ELISA: Henri! Henri! Where are you going?
[Henri calls back over his shoulder:]
HENRI: To do something I should have done a long time ago.
[There is a moment of silence as Elisa begins to quietly sob again. She glances out of the window, watching the last of the sun disappear over the treetops. At length, Henri returns brandishing the Master’s finest silver tray, dressed with all manner of his finest foods and wines. He sets it down and skillfully manages a beautiful place setting before her. He then pours the wine and begins to dish out bread and cheese to her plate.]
ELISA: Henri, what is the meaning of all this?
HENRI: Madam, you got served.
Monday, May 02, 2005
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6 comments:
Quite nice. You should shoot your own version of this leaked script, with Jason in the Henri role. Just don't expect LU to give it the go ahead, what with all the implied sexual tension between the Elisa character and the Master Butler.
Also, it's nice that ol' Cochran lived long enough to put his "Not Spurious" stamp on something one last time before he died. He must've slipped it in right under the wire.
They say Bruckheimer is so pleased with this project that he is setting his sights on turning "Served" into another CBS mega-franchise: "The Service: DC," chronicling the secret lives of the wait staff at "Ruth's Chris Steak House," and "The Service: WB," in which we visit the star-struck catering company on the set of "Moesha," and of course "The Service: Las Vegas," about (what else?) an escort service (expect crossover episodes with the original CSI guys)
I'm sick of YOU, Jerry Bruckheimer.
Everyone knows Hollywood's golden boy is not Nick Cage. It's Todd Bridges. England needs his cameos, i dare say.
When is trent going to get a blogsite of his own. Maybe he could chronicle great janitors of the past, like matt damon in Good Will Hunting. Which reminds me. Does that title mean "will hunting is a good person despite his anger issues," or "our protagonist will be hunting for some good will, because he's only received ill-will thus far in his fictional life," or "if you arrive at the thrift shop before 8:15 on Thursdays, you can really find some steals"?
Any ideas on this?
First Off I Would Like To Say, I Got Served. I Got Served Rite To My Heart, And I Would Like To Thank You For That. Secondly I Am Still Waiting For The Script To You Got Served, Again. Please Get That To Me As Soon As Possible. Oh And Perhaps You Could Pitch The Role Of Master Butler To Samuel L. Jackson, He's In Everything.
Please to be blogging.
This post will be two months old on Saturday. I hope a party is being planned for celebration.
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