"Have a Good One, Charlie Brown."

It is just me or does anyone else loathe the expression, Have a good one? This term—one I once deemed befitting only to the last of the pureblood hobos or else a lasting tradition in some unfortunate hillbilly dialect—is slowly contaminating an unwitting public. Where I was once slightly annoyed by the utterance of this send-off by my auto-mechanic or local butcher, I am slowly witnessing its infestation everywhere I go.


Foremost, have a good what? Day? Night? Week? Year? Rectal Obstruction Removal? What the hell are you talking about? The only concession that can be made in this phrase's defense, it seems, is that the well-wisher is simply too lazy or too careless to note—in words—whatever it is he or she wants you to experience to the exact degree of "good." If it is a good day you want me to have, why not just say it and clear up any ensuing confusing that may occur as a result of your ambiguity? Besides, the word day is just as easy to say as is the word one. In fact, one may make the argument that, in fact, day is slightly easier to say than one—you don't have to make that annoying 'w&n' sound.

Have a good one.

Furthermore, the fact that the phrase-sayer does not identify to what one refers makes the entire phrase seem, in essence, entirely sarcastic. For instance, since specifying what the phrase-sayer means by one is so exceedingly simple, not specifying implies the intentional meaning of the word is subject to interpretation (i.e., one could just as easily refer to "life" as it does "morning," ergo the phrase literally could mean Have a good whatever-it-is-you-want-to-have, in which case doesn't seem a very polite sentiment at all).

Otherwise, the statement could be interpreted as a way to give someone a friendly farewell while tiptoeing around any unknown awkwardness that could be attributed to the receiver of the message. For instance, the greeter says Have a good one, in which case he is not clarifying the pronoun one because if the person in question is a homosexual child-molester, the issuer of the greeting hopes he has a good experience with that, the same as he would wish a charitable individual who goes around looking to rescue cats stranded in trees. The point is nobody really cares what it is you do, just go peaceably and have a good experience with it.

Please, let us all provide closure in what we wish this holiday season.

Thanks.